As some of you noticed, I took an unexpected three month hiatus from writing this newsletter. If you’ve been following the news, you know that the United States is currently having a moment. Which has meant a lot of people in my network, many of whom are either scientists or government servants or both, are also having a moment. It’s been a difficult and bewildering time and I guess I’ve been waiting until I felt like I had something helpful to offer.

So I thought I’d begin with what am I doing or not doing to meet this moment, because I think my answer might surprise you.

Let’s start with the not doing. A dear friend of mine introduced me to one of the tools that Alcoholics Anonymous provides its members. It’s an acronym (HALT) for things they should avoid as they try to maintain their sobriety:

Hungry
​Angry
​Lonely
​Tired

What I love about this short list of things is that a) it reaffirms that self-care is not selfish, but integral to healthy functioning, and b) it focuses our attention on things that are largely in our control. This is not just for recovering alcoholics, folks. It’s for all of us who are stressed out and struggling to make good choices for ourselves.

And yet, as simple as that list is, we also know that the vast majority of people are walking around hungry, angry, lonely, and tired much of time. What’s simple to understand is not always simple to do when our culture doesn’t value these behaviors.

So I came up with my own acronym (HEART) of things to seek out, that in the process of doing so, will also help you avoid the things above.

Hype
​Exercise
​Amazement
​Reflection
​Trust

Hype - A weird question that changed my life was “What’s your hype song?” It refers to music that stimulates or “hypes” you up. Trying to find my hype song sent me down a musical rabbit hole. The next thing my family knew, I was listening to a wide range of music spanning alternative, hip hop, dance, pop, and heavy metal. I was as likely to be listening to Dua Lipa and Saweetie as I was Muse or Metallica. And I found that it was so much easier to avoid anger when I was hyped. But it isn’t just music that works this kind of magic. Humor does it too. Dancing. I remember reading that AIDS activists prioritized dancing to help them deal with the heaviness of so much death in their community. Find your hype and indulge as regularly as if your life depended on it.

Exercise - This is another version of hype, but I call it out specifically because it has other benefits than just making us feel good. When I exercise now, I push myself harder to prove that I can handle more than I think. It also helps me get out of my head and into my body, which has its own wisdom to offer.

Amazement - Whether you take on something big or small, easy or hard, I encourage you to find ways to regularly amaze yourself. For me, this has looked like growing plants from seed. I am mesmerized by the process of taking something inert and bringing forth life. Whenever it feels like the world is coming apart, I look at all the things that are growing because of me. Even if it's seven different varieties of tomatoes and eight different kinds of peppers. I joke with my friends that apparently I’m getting through the apocalypse with a lot of chips and salsa.

Reflection - I don’t want to give the impression that the point here is to simply avoid things that are causing you (and/or your country) stress. But you need all the above in order to be in a place where you can understand and respond appropriately to what’s happening. Reflection isn’t about churning on what’s happening or who’s to blame. It’s part sense making—what do I think is happening or about to happen?—and part strategizing what actions you need to take.

All of us, every one, are coming into difficult times. Not in the same way and not to the same degree. But living in an interconnected world means that things like environmental disasters or broken supply chains or pandemics have the ability to impact everyone. It doesn’t serve us to pretend the world isn’t changing, rapidly and drastically. Think about what you will and won’t do under different circumstances. Make plans and create contingencies. The goal is to give yourself as many options as possible, given that none of us can predict the future.

Trust - When things feel hard, I like to remind myself that people who lived during the Black Plague loved and laughed too. In modern society, there is an unspoken expectation of constant progress. That life will be and should be good, or else there’s something wrong.

But a full life is a life that has ups and downs, joys and sorrows, hardship and ease. There’s both sweet and spice in your salsa for a reason.

We are not the first people to go through difficult times, and we can be sure that amidst the hard parts there will be good parts too, if we allow them.